Letter by letter.



Atoms.

You keep taking and taking
Me atom by atom
Oh can’t you see?
You’re my gravity
But I’m just a star and you
You’re my galaxy
And you’re breaking me
Atom by atom

All these things that I’m feeling
They’ve left my head reeling
It’s my heart that you’re stealing
Didn’t you know?

I try and forget you
Your smile, your voice too
But somehow you cut through
Me ever so slow

You keep taking and taking
Me atom by atom
Oh can’t you see?
You’re my gravity
But I’m just a star and you
You’re my galaxy
And you’re breaking me
Atom by atom

I’m losing my mind
One thought at a time
And I’m finding that I’ve
Never been so distraught

This chaos in theory
Has left me so weary
Cuz I just want you near me
And baby you’re not

You keep taking and taking
Me atom by atom
Oh can’t you see?
You’re my gravity
But I’m just a star and you
You’re my galaxy
And you’re breaking me
Atom by atom

Every last piece of me
Oh how you’re breaking me
Atom by atom 

6:01 am, by aubreymarie
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Loch Ness Lullaby. (The song version)

I stuffed my ears with clouds
I found up in the sky
Couldn’t hear them shout
As I walked on by 

I tasted falling rain
After screaming out my lungs
Numbing all the pain
As I was coming all undone

Ooh can’t we just rewind? 
Ooh I’m dying for some time
Ooh I’ve lost my piece of mind
And ooh peace is hard to find
Lullaby, lullaby

I wandered through the grass
All kissed by spring’s new breath
Smelled the dancing blooms
Who knew not yet of death

I dug myself a grave
And laid me down inside
Just to get back up
Defying tunnel light

Ooh can’t we just rewind?
Ooh I’m dying for some time
Ooh I’ve lost my piece of mind
And ooh peace is hard to find
Lullaby, lullaby

I ran between the trees
With hands pressed to my eyes
Chasing my bare feet
They taught themselves to fly

I landed on the dock
Of some great silent lake
Water melted moon
Stars sucked my doubt away

I touched my toes to glass
And drifted off to space… 

5:55 am, by aubreymarie
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My Ghost.

Well this candle’s burning low
And these sheets are getting cold
I should’ve been asleep hours ago
But I’m scared to close my eyes
I’ll only realize I’m so alone

I’m living with a ghost
But he’s friendlier than most
And he holds me oh so close, my ghost
When I don’t wanna think about all the things I’ve done
And I don’t wanna measure out how far away I’ve run
And I don’t wanna feel the weight of all this wasted love 

My ghost, please
Wrap your lifeless arms around me
Don’t let me fall asleep

Now there’s ice on my eyelashes
And my breath it comes and dashes
Out of my lungs 
The bruising has begun  

My lips are turning blue blue
All because I’ve got the blues blues
Ever since I heard the news
The part about you

I’m living with a ghost
But he’s friendlier than most
And he holds me oh so close, my ghost
When I don’t wanna think about all the things I’ve done
And I don’t wanna measure out how far away I’ve run
And I don’t wanna feel the weight of all this wasted love 

My ghost, please
Hold me close as can be
You’re the only one who knows me 

Time is passing I suppose
I think I’m growing old
Can’t keep fighting off the cold
My heart already froze froze froze

3:31 am, by aubreymarie
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The New World.

Sorry, I guess I’ve been myself lately,
and I know you don’t like what you see.
And I’m sorry I threw my life away, baby,
just to be who I wanna be.

I’m setting sail alone
with just this ship to call my own,
living tales to write the folks back home.

Somewhere in this fog,
I catch of glimpse of part of me I didn’t know there was.
And somewhere past this sea,
is a new world for discovering.

Since I left, I’ve lost my fear of falling apart
cuz I haven’t got a course in mind to mark.
I brought no compass, maps, telescopes or charts
just my eyes on stars and hand on heart.

Blood like water, breath like wind,
I swear I’m never staying put again.
I’ve built a home in every place I’ve been. 

Somewhere in this fog,
I catch a glimpse of part of me I didn’t know there was.
And somewhere past this sea, 
there’s a new world for discovering.

I guess this means I’ve been myself lately,
but I’m never gonna tell you that I’m sorry. 

1:03 am, by aubreymarie
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A Beastly Melody.

Like jagged teeth, the keys snarl up at me with a satisfied grin. When did you become my enemy, huh? We used to be so close. My fingers hover silently above those teeth, but I cannot will them to go any further for fear of being bitten. These damn fingers. I can hear the song, and I can recall the movements in my head, but I can’t—I can’t. I won’t. I start rubbing my knuckles again. There’s never been anything I wanted more than to tell you a story, beast. Make your jagged mouth sing with the things I am feeling. And now the story has been ripped from my throat. The notes so vivid in my head are fleeting and dead now that I cannot make you say them. I’m empty. I can’t feel anything, but for some reason I can feel everything still stuck inside of my heart and it won’t come out. Everyday there’s more and more of it. It’s rotting inside of me, poisoning my insides, my mind. I don’t know how to tell it anymore. Don’t know how to tell what my heart wants to say. And it kills me. It kills me slowly to have this beauty and this ugly inside me that won’t ever be thrust into the universe in a burst of passion and emotion. I don’t reckon I have passion anymore. Just poison. Poison from the bite of the beast that was once loyal to me. Does anyone know what that’s like? To die a slow and painful death? But it doesn’t even matter now. I can’t do anything about it. Close the lid, fingers. I can will you to do that much, can’t I? Put the beast in its cage and never let it out again.

3:38 am, by aubreymarie
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Don’t Miss Me.

Haven’t seen you in a long time, long time
Been a while since you been mine, been mine
We were always getting so mad, so mad
And our timing was just so bad, so bad

Now we’re fighting to forget this but
I’m willing to bet this ain’t the end
Whatever comes my way,
I say I say I say

Losing steam these days
Knowing things have changed
But I, but I can’t throw this away, this away
Cuz we are still so young
And we were so in love
So why, so why throw this away, this away?
This away, this away, ah this away, this away

I know it’s hard for you to see
You could ever fall back in love with me
But you can’t tell me that you don’t still feel something

I don’t know what’s meant to be
Guess we’ll have to wait and see
But there’s no one quite like you for me, you for me 
Are you for me, are you for me?
So whatever comes my way,
I say I say I say

Losing steam these days
Knowing things have changed
But I, but I can’t throw this away, this away
Cuz we are still so young
And we were so in love
So why, so why throw this away, this away?
This away, this away, ah this away, this away

We’ve got our whole lives ahead
So don’t you miss me till I’m dead.

6:54 pm, by aubreymarie
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Climbing Mountains.

Tell me I’m a fool, tell me I’m the one
Tell me this old ship has hit the rocks and now it’s done

Everything is wrong you’re saying it’s alright
I want you in my arms but these old arms can’t win the fight

I broke you down and it’s been rough
I’m climbing mountains for your trust
I bled you dry still not enough
I’m climbing mountains for your love 

You tell me that I’m missed you tell me that I’m loved
I’m running to you but your push don’t come to shove

I’m standing in the dark calling out your name
My ears are ringing echoes filling up inside this cave 

1:38 am, by aubreymarie
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Ode to a Paper Crane.

Floating on these paper wings
Watching willows weep
Reaching out for my bare feet
With nowhere to go
Tell me prophet man
Where’s that outstretched hand?
My lungs are filling up with sand
And hours to go
Oh how lost I’d been
Whispers in the wind
Tell me again and again and again
Don’t fold in 
Oh paper crane
In the cherry blossom rain
Everything was heartache and blame
Till you came around
So take me now
To our house of cards
We’ll hold up all the walls with our hearts
Till they fall down 

1:09 pm, by aubreymarie
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I am young.

But I have got an old soul.

1:47 am, by aubreymarie
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A Bigger Bed.

Floatin like these bodies mangled, strangled, limp, and rotting in the tide
Take all those emotions slosh them slowly in the ocean you’ve got inside
Throw your last breath to the sky where rockets reach the highest heights
And pray to God your strength has got the strength to go on through the night
There’s nothing to fear
When nobody’s here to make the wishing harder
And life is but a dream they tell me
But no one ever said there’d be a bigger bed
Waiting somewhere for me
So you sit and do the time, you take their tests, and learn their rhymes 
Nothing really matters when your brains are spilled and splattered in the lines
Facing all the faces as they chase their leather cases, nickels, dimes
Tick then a tock, then a tick, it’s the clock that’s mocking us for all our lives
There’s nothing to fear
When nobody’s here to make the wishing harder
And life is but a dream they tell me
But no one ever said there’d be a bigger bed
Waiting somewhere for me 

1:19 am, by aubreymarie
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